All I have to post this evening:

”You’re no better than the Angels who held me back from saving the poor ImPious men being slaughtered right in front of me. And I’m sorry to say that, but it’s true. Because now you’re trying to stop even your own daughter from saving somebody, and it’s sick. I’m sorry . . . I really am.”

At least I'm getting some inspiration. Until tomorrow!

Project: Faith - Prologue

I was looking through some of my work for Project: Faith and figured I'd post the prologue on here, just for kicks. I'll probably post some more work from it tomorrow, so keep your eyes peeled!

***

She was thirteen when the Angel ran away to join the Devils.

She remembered sitting down in the small living room with her father, sitting silently as they both stretched their wings after a long day, and he mentioned it to her. She also remembered not knowing what to say - after all, it was unheard of. The Devils were evil and cruel, and they went against all that the Angels had been taught: protect the Pious, for the rest don’t matter.

But for an Angel to betray her kind? Unheard of.

So her father explained.

“L’Fae,” he said, “Do you know what happened a few days ago?”

“There was a ruckus,” she said simply, using a word from school that she had only learned weeks after her fellow classmates.

“Yes,” he said. “I’m afraid one of our own kind betrayed us.”

“For the Devils.”

“Yes,” he answered again. “You know who they are, correct?”

She shook her head.

“They protect the ImPious, those who do not respect the government for what it truly is,” he explained. “They have been a thorn in the Angels’ sides for ages, always opposing our true views. And for an Angel to turn to their side . . .it’s unheard of. God Peter is astounded, I hear, to learn of this. It’s simply a disgrace.”

“But why did they leave, Father?” she asked as she stretched her wings.

“Because,” he said, “She was apparently a troublemaker. According to her father, she was a girl who rarely listened to orders and was always focused on herself. A selfish Angel, I hear,” he shook his head. “So, we suspect, she ran off to do whatever sinful things those Devils engage in. Drink, games, sex . . . And, of course, they mock us for our true ways.”

“You mean they’re wrong?”

“Very,” he said with a sigh. “L’Fae, you must understand. Some ways are just immoral and wrong. And you must never get pulled into these ways, you understand?”

“Yes, Father.”

“Good.”

Silence. She stretched her wings a while longer, looked out the window at the star-strewn sky, protected by her kind. And then, she asked: “Who was the girl that left?”

“Her name?”

She looked to him and nodded.

He let out a sigh. “Her name,” he said, “Was Natasha Kameneva.”

L’Fae knew, later, that she would remember that name. She would remember it, for it would someday be the name she would follow after.

Faith might've been lost, but at least they still had Hope . . .

L'Fae didn't mean for things to go so far.

After an Angel sees her face and the Devil's Clubhouse is burned to the ground, the Domain of Heaven is thrown into civil war. The God Peter is hiding among the Devils; the still-loyal Angels join forces with the Devils to worrisome effects. They might be able to fight for the same cause, but what other problems could be faced?

And that's not all. Wherever L'Fae looks, she sees nothing but distance between her friends, caused by death and grief and fear and secrets untold. Even her lover, Natasha, is reaching towards revenge . . . and she doesn't know how to pull her back.

L'Fae never meant to be a catalyst for war.

But now she must become the warrior for peace.

***

There you go! That's the blurb for Project: Hope, the sequel to Project: Faith. Exciting, huh? I'm hoping to either make myself or ask around for a cover for both books. I actually have a concept in my head, although I don't know how well I'd be able to pull it off . . . hmm. I suppose we'll have to see!

For those of you interested in my Camp info, you can find my profile here. Feel free to drop me a message if you're camping out too - I'll share my hot dogs if you let me have some s'mores!

What my work for P: Hope looks like!

Project Hope, I mean.

(And this marks the first time I'm using my own images! Screenshots, of course, but who cares?!)

This is - you guessed it - my outline for my April novel for Camp Nano! It's not much - about six pages of rough notes - but it gets the job done, at least as a place to start working off of. There are still gaps in my plot, but they can be worked out within the next few days. April starts in those few days, can you believe it?! It's a good thing that I have Monday off from school, because I will need the time to plan!

So what is Project: Hope about? As you might've seen in a previous post, this is a sequel to another of my projects - basically, it's "remember all of the stuff from last time? Now add civil war. CRAP." That's the easiest way to explain it without major spoilers, but it's much more complex, I promise. There are at least three dead parents, some personal - and impersonal - grieving, war, discrimination, and - to quote the priest from The Princess Bride - TWOO WUVE.

So what else is smashed into this document? Let me show you!

(You might've noticed, at this point, that I use a very old version of Microsoft: Word. Don't mind that. Personally, I like this version, because it doesn't have many bells and whistles.)

(You might be able to notice that as the notes go further and further down, the more unhinged and dislocated sense it begins to make. Let's just say I'm very . . . familiar . . . with these characters.)

(See what I mean by "unhinged"? And yes, I do dislike Ms. Rudolle. She's probably going to die. And I will enjoy the act of killing her off.)

So clearly, I have a lot of work to do, but I also think that what I have so far is fantastic - if I absolutely had to, I could start working off of this alone. I go back and forth between being a plotter and a pantser; one of my projects from earlier this year, Project: Assassin, had a balance between planning and pantsing that I really enjoyed, although part of the reason it was so successful, I think, was because it was basically an anthology. Perhaps when I'm less busy, I'll post an excerpt from the work - I'm very proud of it, and as long as you're willing to put up with some lack-of-context issues, it's a good read. It's a long read, but it's a good read nonetheless.

Anybody else out there in the void who's busy scribbling away? Join me! I'd love to see what you're working on.

Drawing Connections

It seems to me that lately, I'm putting a lot of effort into making blog posts that are fully credited and in-depth and very thoughtful. Never done that on any of my other blogs . . . I guess getting a little older puts the whole "credit-where-credit-is-due" thing in perspective. Hmm!

I have a video to share with all of you, and it comes from John Green of the Vlogbrothers:

(I would like to mention that as I type, his face is staring at me with this open-mouthed duck face and it's just a liiitle unsettling.)

John Green is really cool because he is THE author who wrote The Fault in our Stars, which was published in January of 2012 and is getting a MOVIE (!!!) in June this year. In addition, he and his brother, Hank Green, have an internet community called Nerfighteria in which people (including this nerdfighter!) come together to decrease world suck by talking about serious issues and thinking complexly about those issues.  The two of them are known collectively as the vlogbrothers, and they post two videos weekly - one by John on Tuesday, and the other by Hank on Friday. In this way, they have gained an incredibly strong following of nerds, hipsters, and everybody in between (because, really, it's just an awesome thing to be a part of).

But one of the things that John Green talks about is how we tend to remember things and get inspiration from things embedded so deeply in our brains that we don't even realize it. Those ideas bleed into our work; they harass us (kindly) in our sleep. They're things that come not just from us, but from the things that we intake - the thoughts, critiques, words, ideas, and memories that we are made up of. He uses an excellent example of a series of videos (or a tape of videos) that he and his brother used to watch twenty years ago. One of the things they both remembered from the series, just from listening to a replaying of a voice clip from the videos, reminded them BOTH of a catchphrase from the ends of the videos, "I gotta go". Turns out that might've been part of what inspired their OWN ending notes to their vlogs: "Brother, I'll see you on-" whatever day was next.

Fascinating, isn't it? Of course, it's even MORE fascinating in the video, which you should watch to make up for my shoddy paraphrasing job, but it also reminded me of another thing: many of the ideas that John Green came up with - well, they reminded me of Austin Kleon. And of a little book called Steal Like an Artist.

See, the reason that this is so interesting to me is that I've been buying/rebuying/reading Austin Kleon's books again, lately. It's even what inspired me to start this blog! And the cool thing about it is that what John Green describes is that it's the exact premise of the book. Isn't that cool? I don't know if John has read Steal Like an Artist or not, or if he's met Austin Kleon, or if they know each other's names, but it was the first thing I thought of after watching the video, and I thought that was rather cool.

So I guess what I'm saying is: watch the video and read the book! Both of them are really cool, and all the related work is too. After all, it's stuff like this that gets our gears going, right?


You can find the Vlogbrothers here! And Austin Kleon here! Check them out, guys!

"Would you like to buy a heart?"

Yet another recommendation from imgur, guys! This time, it's a comic from a tumblr user, miyuli. Miyuli is apparently in animation school, and the effort shows - the comic is sweet and heartbreaking, and it's flat-out amazing to read. Give it a shot - it's not long, and it's overall fantastic!

Part one: http://miyuli.tumblr.com/post/77927805768/finally-i-can-present-you-my-little-comic-hearts
Part two: http://miyuli.tumblr.com/post/79881180466/this-is-part-2-of-my-little-comic-hearts-for-sale
Part three: http://miyuli.tumblr.com/post/79997705997/last-part-of-my-comic-hearts-for-sale-read-part
Miyuli's tumblr: http://miyuli.tumblr.com/
Imgur's post: http://imgur.com/gallery/woHNc

ETA: I have a request of anybody who has a tumblr account. I would love to let Miyuli know that I've featured her work and make sure that it truly is okay with her, but I cannot comment on her blog because I do not have an account (for more reasons than one). If somebody has an account, could they please let her know and let me know if she's okay with it? I'd appreciate it immensely. Thanks!

Hold up - did I seriously see "separate but equal" again?

As a person who paid quite a bit of attention in my history classes, that phrase - "separate but equal" - makes me pretty angry.

(Credit to Elthalen on dA)

As I've mentioned before, I'm working on a LGBT book. There are a lot of reasons why I'm working on it, but my primary reason is that I think accurate information is a fantastic way to protect yourself from harm. When I say that, I mean mostly on a bully level, sadly - telling somebody why a myth is wrong isn't going to stop you from getting punched/assaulted/raped, but I think information is a great stepping stone on the way to equal rights, and besides that, learning new stuff can be pretty cool. Not to mention that spreading information about this stuff could lead to the decrease of assault/rape dilemma, even if only slightly.

Anyways, one of the things I'm studying for this book of mine is history - specifically, history of homosexuality and the LGBT movement. Most of the information I've been finding has been America-centric, unfortunately (Europe has stuff like this too!), but eh. Whatever. I've been taking notes and stuff and having a good time - until I get to this article by Tom Head.

Don't get me wrong - this is a FANTASTIC article. It has a lot of useful information about when laws were overturned, what happened to overturn those laws, what helped the movement along, etc. Fantastic, right? It's a bit outdated - my guess is that it was written 2004 or 2005, since it only has the legalization of same-sex marriage in Massachusetts - but all the same, fantastic work. Loving getting notes from it. Like it's a gold mine.

EXCEPT - I then come to this.

California's case of a voluntary domestic partnerships policy is rare. Most states granting rights to same-sex couples have done so because the state judiciary has found--correctly--that blocking marriage rights to couples based solely on the partners' gender violates constitutional equal protection guarantees.
In 1999, three same-sex couples sued the State of Vermont for denying them the right to marry--and, in a mirror of the 1993 Hawaii decision, the state's highest court agreed. Rather than amending the constitution, the State of Vermont established civil unions--a separate but equal alternative to marriage that would grant same-sex couples the same rights available to married couples.

First off - I'm not writing in opposition to Tom Head. From what I could gather from his profile page, he's an advocate for civil rights, which is cool of him. Like, really cool. Sweet, guy, I got your back.

What I'm in opposition of is his choice of words. The phrase of "separate but equal" is almost an infamous reference to the Jim Crow laws of the 1950s, and even before that. What did we see with the "separate but equal" rulings? Poorer establishments for people of color, separation of white and black people in public areas, and a higher level of discrimination. Of course, I prove to be no expert on Jim Crow laws or anything like that, but that's not all - we just recently had a brush with a law that was almost eerily similar to Jim Crow laws. 

Now, you might be wonder, "But Writer! Those are just his words! They can't be that literal, right?" Well, yes, I would agree; considering the time that this article was written, it's very easy to suggest that they were just his words and that he didn't truly imply what he wrote in terms of "Jim Crow". Surely, he didn't mean that civil unions were not, in fact, equal to marriage.

Except now maybe that's more than true.

Here's the thing - America was built on the ideas of equality and freedom for all people, and though we certainly try our damndest to say so, we have a long history of struggle with those exact freedoms. Class, color, sex - in the two hundred years that we've had to try and work those out, we're still at a place that we haven't quite fixed these problems. Of course, neither has anybody else, but you'd like to think a country with so much "We have FREEDOM" would've worked this stuff out.

So this isn't new. This crap that we're dealing with isn't new at all. It's just over a new issue - sexual orientation.

So why is it so hard to look back at our history and say, "Y'know, the whole 'separate but equal' thing really didn't work out, so let's not to do that again"?

My problem with the article is not only the fact that civil unions were implied as being lesser than marriage, but that it really is lesser than marriage less than ten years later. I mean, it's grand that we have civil unions - it's a step closer to equal rights and all - but the issue that we now face is that some of the states stop at "civil union" and then never move on. But that's not right; if civil unions do not promote the same rights as marriages, then they're not equal and should not be treated as such. The solution, then, is to just give ALL people the permission to marry who they love and not try to skirt around it like it's the next Armageddon.

Those are my thoughts in a nutshell: that civil unions are truly separate and unequal to marriage, and that it's just a repeat of the past. If anybody has any ideas to add to this (or wants to correct me), feel free to say something - I'm certainly not opposed to being corrected on my facts (just not my opinions).

And of course, I'm no expert. I'm just a person trying her best to learn more about the LGBT community that I happen to be a part of. In addition, I only speak in regards to America, because I'll admit that I have no frame of reference for other countries.

Ah - two more things!

I found both of these lookers via imgur.com - which, of course, is a great place to just mess around when you're bored, but can also be pretty inspirational at times. First up - since it takes last time - this awesome post called "While in Norway.."

Updated by a user known as "moline", the accompanied text goes on to talk about the cabins in the mountains of Norway. How cool is that?! Not only is it fascinating to dream about personally (it would be really cool to move to Norway if it wasn't so darn cold), but it's also very inspiring for my stories. I have a story in which an assassin and his assistant work to make the world a better place while also maintaining their domestic life, and this seems like something they'd spend their extra money on. After all, assassinations pay well, as long as you're not caught or otherwise kidnapped.

Anyways, I'm easily fascinated by those little facts of life. I can't say anything for certain about what the user said, as mileage always varies, but it's an interesting perspective.

As for the second thought - well, it's a deviantart user's work!

I am a BIG fan of Disney, and a big fan of some of the creative art and ideas people come up for them (although some of them get . . . adult themed. Not sure how I feel about that!) First directed to the gallery by this imgur post, I investigated the dA page a little and found out that the artist, Kasami-Sensei, also has a Twisted Disney series as well! The series shown about is her Walking Disney series, the whole of which is absolutely amazing. I strongly recommend you go check it out! Rapunzel and Eugine can be found here, while Elsa and Anna's picture is accompanied by a story in the description. Go look at the sweet artwork!

In any case, I just thought I would share some sweet Internet gold on here, just to share a little of what's running through my mind. Such excellent art and really cool ideas . . . they make me want to run to my drawing board and work like a maniac! I hope it does the same for the rest of you.

How about NaNo-WHOA-Mo?

Whoa indeed! I meant to post this two nights ago and was distracted by a) life, and b) rewatching Frozen. Not a good way to start a habit! At least I had this ready to go half an hour before bedtime...

As I mentioned in my last post, I am a big fan of NaNoWriMo. (That's the camp site, by the way, since April is the first session this year.) I've participated many times; I've won many times. Granted, most of my work from NaNo has been total CRAP, but nonetheless, it's hard to write 50,000 words in a month. It's the sort of thing that requires mettle, guts, and a little bit of bravery - especially if your life is busy enough.

Regardless, it's very rare that I don't enjoy a bout of NaNo. In fact, this will probably be my eighth try, hopefully my sixth win. Most times, NaNo is used to write a fifty-thousand word novel; however, I'm rebelling this time (as I think I've mentioned) in order to finish writing a novel I started last year: Project: Faith.

The easiest way to summarize the story is like this: in a country called the Domain of Heaven, there is a caste system of four classes: Angels, at the top, who act as protectors and government persons; Pious, who wear a symbol upon their brows marking themselves as worshippers of the government and God; ImPious, with bare brows and the view that the government is purely the government; and the Devils, the lowest of the low, the scoundrels that oppose the Angels.

But who are the real scoundrels?

(I don't own the image, I don't know the model, etc. This is just what I use as a frame of reference for what my characters even look like. A faceclaim, to use a popular term.)

Natasha Kameneva, whose likeness is based off of the model's above, was the daughter of a high-standing adviser and was, herself, an Angel. Where her father got press, she did as well, for she was to take over his job one day - until one day, she disappears from Cath, the capital, and runs away to join the Devils in their debauchery. Why? Nobody knows. The story told is that she was a troublemaker and a rebel, despite what the paparazzi saw, and the news afterwords is covered up by hushed whispers.

Natasha's story is what motivates the main story to begin - the reason why a girl named L'Fae Judian, another Angel, to follow the same path herself.

(Still don't own this one. Just another faceclaim. Now stop reading the fine print and read the post!)

L'Fae Judian was a shy, academically-struggling girl who worked for the Angel's Army as part of the Border Guard - that is, until she runs away from home one night. She arrives at the door to the Devils' Clubhouse and quickly asks for solace, simply expressing that she wished to protect those who she wished - for that, exactly, is the problem. The caste system stood as such: the Angels would protect the Pious, absolutely, but ignore the ImPious almost exclusively. That's what the Devils were for - to protect the ImPious, even at the expense of their reputation. L'Fae, however, has the power to sway the tide of peace between the Angels and Devils - including driving the groups straight to war.

So why did L'Fae leave? What did the Angels do to make her leave? And who is the woman that L'Fae followed after? The story concerns those points and more, quickly delving into how the lives of the Devils change and how fast one can fall in love with who had once been an enigma and an inspiration.

So that's what I'm going to be finishing, guys! I'll probably post a bunch of excerpts from the original piece as I start going through and plotting out the next parts of the story, most of which will probably be romance parts (since they're plot-significant, but not plot heavy, per se). And for what you might be thinking, yeah: it's a lesbian romance. I'm pretty sure that's all I need to say for you to guess who's going to be involved . . .

So that's what my next few weeks are going to start looking like! That, in and amongst other work . . . ugh. Maybe I need to go back to that food plate and dump out some of my meal, because I think I'm going to fill up way too fast...

What's on my Plate?

Great question!

(Yeah, I really am this nerdy. By the way, unless I say so, I don't own the photos I post...if I do, I'll certainly say something! In the meantime, I think you can click on the picture to find the source.)

Vegetables: My LGBT book. I am currently researching different topics regarding the LGBT community for a book that I'll write during the months of April/May. It's a really important thing for me, too, just on a personal level . . . so it's taking a place in the forefront of my mind.

Fruits: Sketching. I'm always carrying around my sketchbook, so I can be found drawing pretty often. Um, don't tell my teachers though, because I doodle plenty in my classes . . .! That being said, I tend to get the material anyways, so I can't say that the doodling is that bad. I promise I'm not that arrogant, though...

Grains: Writing. Actually, that's what I want to share today: Camp Nanowrimo's first session is starting in April! I've been doing NaNoWriMo in many forms over the last few years, although this year, I'm rebelling in order to finish one of my old projects, Project: Faith. It does have a religious vein to it, and I doubt I'll ever get it published, but it's a story near and dear to my heart just because of some of the themes discussed, such as love being unlimited, grief being overcome, fears being overcome even when still afraid, and friends being allowed to view your heart even if you're afraid. Of course, those are pretty vague terms to discuss the themes in, but it is really wonderful - and I can't wait to get started. April cannot come quick enough . . .

Protein: I noted before that I do some work in ceramics. Truth is, I'm considering making and selling some of my work. I'm not entirely sure about the details at this moment, and I have some more work to do before I can make it a reality, but I'm hoping I can find a way to make it work out somehow.

Dairy: I have some other side projects in the back of my mind, i.e. other stories and readings and activities, but that's all they are at the moment: side projects. Dairy might not be the best way to describe them though . . . more like "sweets", since I can't actually have much dairy at all (While sweets, like chocolate and sprite, I'm a slave to. Don't get the wrong idea! Everything in moderation!).

To put it simply, the above things are probably what you'll be hearing of the most, especially the writing parts. It's so easy to save text media when it's already on the computer! Unfortunately, I don't often scan my sketches or take pictures, so those might be few and far between, but once I can afford a camera, I might be able to put some more of my images up...?

For now, I'll leave this for people to peruse, and hopefully I can bring some new content as I create it! Assuming I even have the room to breathe . . .

Wild-Eyed and Cannot Hide

In a (not-so) romantically-lit basement, a (not-so) well-groomed lady sits at her (not-so) tidy desk. Beneath her fingers, the keys of her keyboard clack like wheels over train tracks. A half-full McDonald's cup sits inches away; glasses frame wild eyes.

It'd be a normal scene of any woman's work station, if it wasn't for the oddities splayed everywhere: the 3DS with Animal Crossing: New Leaf pushed into the slot, a stack of books on activism and sexuality, a pile of notecards half as tall as the large soda cup, groups of duct tape, a few books for pottery, classes, and personal notes on a shelf nearby. It reflects the inside of the woman's mind, filled with thoughts about novels, characters, and - strangely enough - an elusive lamp shaped like an anglerfish.

The woman surely doesn't notice anybody watching, especially with her large sweatshirt pulled up to her neck and dwarfing her curled-up form. Her body shivers; her hands, abused by the dry cold, crack at the seams. Outside, a warm day waits, yet she doesn't look to it. Her eyes are riveted on the screen.

In front of her, a post is opened. A new world awaits.

***

I find that the hardest thing about starting blogs, at least, is figuring out how to explain yourself. How to "introduce" yourself to the world. But this isn't my first go-around, and in some spaces, I'm not particularly unknown. Whether this is a good thing or not is up for debate.

But regardless, I am a writer, and I am a potter, and I am a reader and a gamer and a creator. But above all, I am an academic-artist, and it's not hard to grab my interest - just say "Nikola Tesla", "gay rights", or even "that show that got renewed recently with the four guys and the host - I think it was called Whose Line?" - and you've got it. My eyes will light up; my whole world, for just a moment, will shut down. And I'll grab you and demand, "Tell me more about this wonderful world!"

If you give me a glimpse into a world, I will take that glimpse and rip it open into a window. Don't worry - I've framed things before.

***

So I'm an artist, and I'm an academic, and I have a Wild-Eyed Muse . . . but why would I want to start a blog with just those things to go off of?

Because of a little book called Show Your Work!

In one of my school classes, this book was recommended to me. The teacher was aware that I had read Austin Kleon's Steal Like an Artist and suggested this, seeing as it had come out so recently. How had I missed that! I immediately went and ordered it, and I've already read through it one time and started my second read-through yesterday.

So what the heck is this book about?! Self-promotion, in a weird sort of way! The easiest way to self-promote these days is via the Internet, Kleon suggests in a roundabout way, and social networking is useful for doing it. Of course, all of that is paraphrased, and I certainly can't describe it better than the man himself. Go ahead, check out his page - and while you're at it, check out his tour dates too, since he's doing tours through May! (I wish I could go, but alas! No form of transport, nor time.) And for those of you who like it enough to want to buy it, here's the Amazon link.

All of that leads up to this: I'm here to show MY work, put out some of my projects, get some feedback. Of course, I want to do this while being as entertaining as possible, as well as updating as frequently as I can. Better to put everything out there than keep it in my head! As a result, Wild-Eyed Muse is my canvas, and I'm ready to splatter it with my mediums!

I hope everyone is ready - I know I am!