What's going on? Everything, it feels like. Knowing that I brought this all unto myself is very helpful, of course, but it surprises me how I can get home from school and can't be bored. There's just too much for me to do for me to be bored.
I was very worried earlier this afternoon, as well, when I tried to start writing. Unfortunately, I didn't reach my daily word count (2,667 words), but then again, I have a lot on my plate. An assignment for my Government class was my top priority this afternoon, although I did take it a little far . . . trying to cover a political current event is not fun. I get really invested and then have to do everything to make a clear judgement! I'm sure a lot of that is coming from the work I'm doing in my Honors Seminar class, too. Lots to think about, thankfully, and also a lot to try and digest. I'm falling into bed exhausted most nights, at this point!
But I digress. Week Two of NaNo is infamous for being the week when the most people quit, where people began to fall off the bandwagon. Why? Because most of the romantic aspect of it, the whole "sitting in a cabin with nothing but candles and a typewriter and a beautiful wilderness beyond the window at midnight" idea, goes straight in the trash. You want to know what writing looks like? Right now, in my case, it looks like repeating Marina & The Diamonds and a sweater replacing a T-shirt, as well as mishappen glasses, improper posture, and a dose of ibuprofen forty-five minutes before I go to bed.
(No, it hasn't kicked in. Stupid medicine and my building tolerance to its effects.)
Week Two, in general, is just sort of a crappy reminder of what the hell you signed up for. What it really is like to be a writer. It's a lot of frustration, a lot of angst, and the occasional rage-quitting as you delete everything you've written that day and shut down your writing program. It's not easy. It's not fun. At least, not for as long as it sits and hangs over you.
The easiest way I've found for dealing with Week Two, to be honest, has been to suck it up and write some of the crappiest work I've ever done. But today, that strategy just wasn't working. I think it has a lot to do with the crap that I've been churning out outside of NaNo work and other stuff, and the fact that that crap had started leaking into my work (on another note - I hate putting "that" twice in a row. It's annoying and there HAS to be a better way).
But sometimes, you get a tap on the shoulder from your muse. You realize that you were writing crap because you were rushing, because you weren't seeing the potential in the scene that you crappily rushed through. You realize that slowing down and being delicate with the little infant of the scene will help it grow into something pretty darn sweet, even if that growing infant isn't quite perfect and all rounded out. And sometimes, your muses amuse you so much they start teasing each other and doing other fun things in your head.
...like running around and chasing each other and playing tag. NOTHING ELSE.
Sometimes, I think we need to remember that there are certain things that will kill our work, and I think that we need to look into ourselves and figure out "why isn't this working? What am I doing differently that's making my work look like crap? How can I improve overall?" I think that by sitting down and considering those questions, we can improve - or at least, help us figure out where we went wrong. In my case today, I was rushing through trying to get through a scene I really didn't want to write, and as a result, it turned out sloppy and poor. Had I taken my time with it, I would've figured it out and been okay. I just needed to slow down and take my time.
Working isn't the only part of your work - your work needs to consider some of your deeper thoughts, too. It needs to consider your ideas and your thoughts and the holey pieces stitched together in your head. After all, if work was all physical and no mental, it'd just be a menial task, at least to me. You've got to keep your brain moving if you want to get stuff done.
After all, nothing happens without the brain.
What was tripping me up so badly anyway? Well, I'm notoriously bad with fight scenes, or at least I think so. Not a good thing in a book with a war! But I'm hoping to post that scene and its chapter as soon as I finish it, so if you want to read the rough draft of this chapter, stay tuned!
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