To: The One That Got Away

I am posting twice in one day, whee! But I also want to post this before I regret it.

Watch this, and you will understand.

The following was my message.

***

It’s weird to address this to you, because this project is called “the one who got away”, and, well . . . I sort of let you get away. And that’s not your fault or mine or anybody else’s. It was time.

I still want to say I’m sorry though.

It’s been two years now. Everything that happened is a long lost and foggy memory now in the past. I remember I had a lot to thank you for, such as thinking that I am so much more amazing than I believe I am, but I also know that I was very sorry. Sorry for your bad back, very sorry for your mom, very very sorry for the distance between us. And that sucked. And I wish I had done more apologizing, although I’m sure you would’ve giggled and told me not to say that so much. And I, of course, would’ve smiled, just as I am smiling now.

I don’t mean to drag this out. So I’ll just go ahead and say it, and end with this: I am sorry for all the things I could not fix. But I also thank you. I thank you for helping me learn more about myself, and I thank you for being there for me even if I didn’t think that I needed you.

***

This was a fairly personal message for a very personal reason, but it was the first thing I thought of when I read the phrase, "The One That Got Away". And I mean it, really - she didn't get away. I let her leave. And hell, that's what matters, right?

I'm not going to give you the name or the details of who this was to and why, though I'm sure you can glean some information from the message I left. So please don't ask, alright? I will say, though, that this was my first Art Assignment, and I loved it. I feel at peace, weirdly enough, having read and done that.

This was a cathartic enterprise, even if spur-of-the-moment. So I suggest you take the video's advice and follow the same journey I did. If you're in Canada like me, add (1) to the beginning of the number, and you'll do fine. I hope this helps you as much as it helps me.

(Keep in mind that if you later come back to view this and find it's gone, it may be because I took it down, I'm already nervous sharing this, although I am glad for the anonymity at the moment.)

Women are people, too. So stop treating them like objects.

First, a quick update on my situation. I'm at university, in a foreign country, but I've done orientation and I think I'm okay. So it goes.

Now, as for actual real-life topics: please read these two articles: this one by Roxane Gay and this other one by Van Badham.

Done?

To be honest, this whole situation sort of sickens me. And embarrassingly, I fell into the trap at first. I heard about the leaks and actually said out loud, "Sweeeeet". And isn't that terrible? Thankfully, I took a step back and realized what I was doing, and that was this.

I was objectifying a human being. And god dammit, I - we - can't do that.

So first, let me re: Roxane Gay, because she mostly talked about the sex and gender side of things. First off, she is completely right - if you're a woman, you're targeted. If you're gay, you're targeted. If you're colored, you're targeted. If you're outwardly religious and not a religion of "the norm" depending where you are, you're targeted. It gets worse the more hits you've got, and me? Well, I've got three, although atheism is a lesser offense these days. The point of it, though, is how privacy is seen as a "gift" rather than a right as a result of being a woman, or being colored. It's worse if you're famous. I try very hard to remember that celebrities are people, so that I don't misjudge them (which is also why I'm pissed about Robin Williams, but more on that later, maybe).

As for the Van Badham article: she, again, is right. It's sexual harassment and abuse at its finest. It's a violation of somebody's privacy, security, and even sexuality. I mean, how safe would YOU feel about sending your lover nude pics as part of your typical sexy times if you'd been attacked in this way? All of those pictures are private, and they're for private consumption, not ours. And celebrities deserve their privacy as much as anybody else; a violation of that is just rude at best and harassing at worst (again, Robin Williams).

But the most frustrating thing about this to me is that this was a blatant showing of how people view women as objects. I mean, excuse me?! It's both frustrating and frightening to know that there are people out there that only view me as a walking, talking pair of boobs and butt! That's not what I am, dammit, and you want to know why? Because I am a cognitive and feeling human being, and I deserve to be treated in that manner. It's 2014, why is this so hard to grasp?

So: the 4chan user that decided to violate the privacy of dozens of celebrities because he thought it would be a good time? He's an asshole. I won't even censor that, because there is no good reason to expose somebody like that, even if they are famous. And the people that ooh and aah and don't think of the damage they cause? They're assholes too. And before you go thinking I've excluded myself on purpose, no, don't think that - I feel bad enough for my initial reaction.

Women are people, just like men. Women are not objects, and if you can't realize that, then you need to grab your to-do list and check yourself.

Titled: Title - Part 3

Okay, enough of this procrastination crap. I gotta start talking.

So things have gotten a lot busier in my life lately. My 'rents left on vacation for two weeks and only just got back a few days ago . . . I'm getting ready for college . . . I have a vaccination tomorrow . . . I mind-mapped my brain and it looks like it's hopped out on drugs. That's how busy I've been.

BUT THAT'S NO EXCUSE FOR NEGLECTING THE POOR BABY THAT IS MY BLOG. So I'm going to grant this an update and make a few announcements, but first, LET ME SHOW YOU THE FUN STUFF THE INTERNET HAS SHOWN ME.

• These 26 Photos Show There's No One Way to Be Beautiful. In general, I don't touch Cosmopolitan with a 39 1/2 foot pole. This article is really cool though; basic premise of it is that a woman decided to take a portrait picture of herself and send it to people in different countries, asking the artists to make her look pretty based on the standards of their countries. The results are really interesting - some of them change her appearance almost entirely, while others keep her looking relatively the same. I think it's a good example of not just how unrealistic and impossible the standards for beauty are, but also how there are still places that see her as relatively beautiful already. Take it as you like, I suppose - I just though the results were share-worthy.
• 'Stop The Beauty Madness' Brands Ads With Brutally Honest Messages. These are basically the best advertisements EVER, going out of their way to point out the obvious problems with how we tie our worth to our body image. This is especially a problem for women young, old, and diverse, to which the advertisements aim their messages at, and its brutal honest and thought makes it a unique campaign. I wish advertisements like this were in the mainstream, because we definitely need them! If I hear one more word about somebody going on a crash diet, I'll scream . . .
• Things Facing Left, A Tutorial Masterpost. Though I don't talk about my drawing habits very much on here, I am definitely still practicing! This masterpost of tutorials has been incredibly helpful, and I've looked through it a ton. Whatever you need to work on, it's probably covered somewhere in here, so now you have no more excuses to avoid it! It's also great if you're working on anatomy, like me . . .
• Japan National Tourism Organization. Lately, I've been getting majorly into traditional asian dress such as kimonos, hanfus, ao dais, etcetera. Well, while I was looking into kimonos, I found this website! If you have any interest in Japanese culture, this is a great place to start, because it has a ton for information from Agriculture to Zen! The article I have linked to is about traditional costumes, but you can use the sidebar to jump to different topics. Definitely worth a check!
• Hips Don't Lie with Banjo. I don't know where this came from, and why, but it's definitely worth a good laugh to listen to! And I agree with the commentators - this sounds like it's from a Legend of Zelda game!

Okay, with those out of the way . . . a few notes.

Yes, I am still working on the Animal Crossing series about art. I'm behind, I know. I have one more post to write up, and then it will be done, I promise.

Yes, I am busy prepping for college! The work involved is dizzying, but I'm figuring it out, so that will be keeping me busy for a while.

No, I'm not prepared to start posting my fanfiction novel from Camp Nano. I'm not even done the piece yet, and as I'm starting another project as well, I'm sort of - well - floundering. I do intend to post it, but right now I just don't have the time. Until then, the blog for it will be sort of dead, but fear not! I will revive it when I am ready!

Last thing: I will be doing a review of The Miseducation of Cameron Post once I finish the book, mostly because I want to get out my opinion on it in response to the Cape Henlopen decision regarding it and their whole ****ing reading list. I don't know how appropriate it will be, because I am still really angry about the decision, but know that is on my to-do list.

That's about all, for now! Can't promise when the next update will be, but keep an eye out, because I'm hoping to try and keep this blog somewhat alive before I run off to uni.