Women are people, too. So stop treating them like objects.

First, a quick update on my situation. I'm at university, in a foreign country, but I've done orientation and I think I'm okay. So it goes.

Now, as for actual real-life topics: please read these two articles: this one by Roxane Gay and this other one by Van Badham.

Done?

To be honest, this whole situation sort of sickens me. And embarrassingly, I fell into the trap at first. I heard about the leaks and actually said out loud, "Sweeeeet". And isn't that terrible? Thankfully, I took a step back and realized what I was doing, and that was this.

I was objectifying a human being. And god dammit, I - we - can't do that.

So first, let me re: Roxane Gay, because she mostly talked about the sex and gender side of things. First off, she is completely right - if you're a woman, you're targeted. If you're gay, you're targeted. If you're colored, you're targeted. If you're outwardly religious and not a religion of "the norm" depending where you are, you're targeted. It gets worse the more hits you've got, and me? Well, I've got three, although atheism is a lesser offense these days. The point of it, though, is how privacy is seen as a "gift" rather than a right as a result of being a woman, or being colored. It's worse if you're famous. I try very hard to remember that celebrities are people, so that I don't misjudge them (which is also why I'm pissed about Robin Williams, but more on that later, maybe).

As for the Van Badham article: she, again, is right. It's sexual harassment and abuse at its finest. It's a violation of somebody's privacy, security, and even sexuality. I mean, how safe would YOU feel about sending your lover nude pics as part of your typical sexy times if you'd been attacked in this way? All of those pictures are private, and they're for private consumption, not ours. And celebrities deserve their privacy as much as anybody else; a violation of that is just rude at best and harassing at worst (again, Robin Williams).

But the most frustrating thing about this to me is that this was a blatant showing of how people view women as objects. I mean, excuse me?! It's both frustrating and frightening to know that there are people out there that only view me as a walking, talking pair of boobs and butt! That's not what I am, dammit, and you want to know why? Because I am a cognitive and feeling human being, and I deserve to be treated in that manner. It's 2014, why is this so hard to grasp?

So: the 4chan user that decided to violate the privacy of dozens of celebrities because he thought it would be a good time? He's an asshole. I won't even censor that, because there is no good reason to expose somebody like that, even if they are famous. And the people that ooh and aah and don't think of the damage they cause? They're assholes too. And before you go thinking I've excluded myself on purpose, no, don't think that - I feel bad enough for my initial reaction.

Women are people, just like men. Women are not objects, and if you can't realize that, then you need to grab your to-do list and check yourself.

Titled: Title - Part 2

On THIS episode of "Watch T.J. Struggle with a Miserable Cold and Not Seem Like a Jerk About It" . . .! Well, you get the deal. Last time, I ended up linking to a bunch of websites and articles that I thought were cool, but this time, I think I'm going to stick purely to Youtube. Despite the overall-meaningless cat videos and people doing stupid things, there is legit gold on there, although I'm sure none of you are surprised to hear that.

So, Mr. Fancy Blogger Format, if you will . . .

"Out of Sight (Language-Symbol Things)" by Language-Symbol Things

Okay, so my tact with identifying language symbols is debatable, but that's not the point! I got this sent to me by a friend and, stupidly, didn't recognize from the FIRST that the girl is blind. (Apparently that's obvious? For those as oblivious as I am, sorry for spoiling!) It starts off a bit worrisome, but it develops into this adorable story about a girl who just has to work out how to move around a largely-blank world. It's cute, for sure, so give it a watch! If it doesn't have you "aww"-ing by the end, then you probs have no soul and should get a doctor to check on that . . .

"YOU ARE NOT YOUR PARENTS" by Emma Blackery

How did I stumble upon this? Probably on a tumblr, but I can't be sure anymore because I FORGOT. *d'oh* However, this is flat-out good advice. Miss Blackery nails it on the head - you have to pursue whatever career YOU want, not what your parents want. It also echos for those who feel reigned in by their parents, which I'm aware many of my fellow classmates peers do. And overall, she's just very smart and very wise. So whether you're a kid, an adult with kids, or never planning to have kids at all, watch. It might open your eyes a little.

"The Body is Not An Apology" by Sonya Renee

Once again, I don't remember the exact source for this, but I'm going to take a guess and say I got led to it via Speak and Be Heard on Tumblr. It's about Slam Poetry, or spoken poetry, which is something I'd like to do but probably won't because I'm not that comfortable shoving my face all over Youtube, never minding that I'm crap with a video camera. But anyways, I live in a household where a common complaint is "I can't eat that" or "I'm fat" or other downputting comments, and it's really tiring to me because those are the thoughts I try to keep out of my head, too. I could go on a tirade about it, but this lady sums it up really really well. The only downside is that people whooped while she was talking, which I thought was really inappropriate. Let the woman speak, gosh darn it!

"BBC Geisha Girl (2005)" by LadySythe

Another video my friend sent me! (I might want to add that this friend of mine is my bestie. She finds tons of cool stuff). It follows the journey of a girl named Yukina on her way to becoming a Maiko, which is one of the steps to becoming a Geisha. And before you start talking about prostitution - think again! Unfortunately, the comments seem to indicate that there are some inaccuracies in translation of information, but it's a good watch anyway, and definitely something to help motivate you if you want to learn more. Some books are recommended in the comments (which reminds me, I need to check so I know what to add to my next book run . . .)

"Alex Dang - 'What Kind of Asian Are You?' (NPS 2013)" by Button Poetry

I saw this ages ago and, after a hint-in from Speak and Be Heard (link above), I found it again. Alex Dang starts off fairly humorously, but his poem turns serious and even dark as he insists upon what society has caused him to learn, what it has caused him to feel. It's a serious reminder of the struggles we all deal with in terms of stereotypes, and how those stereotypes can negatively impact people. This is probably the number one reason why I appreciate poetry, even if I don't read it so much - poetry gives us such a link into other people that it forces us to remember that the person speaking or writing is a human being. It makes us see in 3D. It's important. (That's not say that all poetry is a direct link to the person, as many poems are writing in a character's voice, but never mind that.)

"Nick on Identity" by sexplanations

So before you get on the rage bus, sit down and listen: what Nick talks about is largely what he thinks of himself, how he views himself. He also talks about how those affect him - which labels have motivated him and which labels have hurt. His spiel makes sense - identity is important, although it stings that we often have to narrow it down to labels. It's actually something I've been meaning to focus on within myself - after all, I am going to university soon, which will certainly help in the process! Unfortunately, I did see comments arguing about his "superiority" as a "straight white male", but of course I have to say to those commenters: GTFO. We're all equal. Deal with it. Anyways, stop reading this and go watch it.

"Jamie Kilstein on Gay Marriage With Lewis Black Ron White An . . ." by Jamie Kilstein

For the delicately-religious: you might want to cover your ears. Pretty sure I got this video while hopping around after the Alex Dang video. Anyways, while I'd like to think/pray/HOPE that he refers to a strong minority who are the anti-adoption folks, and while he DOES straddle a thin line, he has a lot of good points. Just . . . just keep in mind that this is a comedian we're talking about? He makes great points and political commentary, but no need to get too upset about it. Regardless: LOVE IT.

"10 Ways A Condom Can't Protect You..." by 10 Ways A Condom Can't Protect You...

EXSPERMINATE. Seriously though, this is not just really funny, it proves some good points. So . . . what's the excuse about not wearing a condom again? And I've seen condoms stretched over a lady's foot before, so don't give me the crap about it "not fitting". That's your deal, not mine, and if your girth really does make it painful . . . I'm concerned*. Found at tum bling doe on tumblr.

Anyways, I hope those are at least somewhat interesting to you guys! I thought they were really funny and really heartfelt, in many cases, and hey, we all need a mix of that every once in a while! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go cough up a lung and prepare for my next post . . .

*And no, I am not penis-biased, I just realize that girth can be an issue for some guys and in that case, it can make it a little more difficult to find condoms that fit. And anyways, I'd rather a lady in the first place.

Don't Expect the Context.

Should I strive to be more like you?
I feel judged for so many things.
My passion,
my views,
my faults.
Yet behind so many of those judgments
feels to be you.
Am I an adult?
Do I truly know what it is that I speak of?
Is my work too dark? Should I stop?
No, the question is should you stop.
I am an individual. I love the earth,
and I love my work.
But it's not for you. It never was!
I write, draw, dream for myself. For me.
And you take my thoughts and slice them apart.
God dammit, I am not a machine!
And I am no reflection of you - I'm me!
Eighteen years of running a body I've spent ages agonizing for,
Eternities finding who I am, and more forevers for me to redefine and define!
Your words, your "truths", sting like the ashes of the burning knife you press against my skin.
No longer. I am not your cutting block.
I am me. When I look into the mirror, I yearn to see myself.
I don't want to see you over my goddamn shoulder.
It blurs the image into ashy fog.

***

So that's something I wrote a few days ago. I won't lie - this is a fairly personal poem, like many poems are, although I didn't expect that I was really going to post it. But the angst has been growing a little bit, and I figured since it was a good piece of poetry coming from me anyways, I figured I'd show it off, as it were.

You might be able to expect another post tonight - I have some videos I'd like to share, but I don't know if that will get up tonight or not. I am SICK, with the sore-throated and congested deal. Feels a little like I've snorted hot sauce and lemon juice, but never mind that.

I haven't forgotten the AC posts either, by the way; my life's just being a little weird these days. But I will try to post ASAP, whether that's again tonight or sometime tomorrow.