It's October 11th - Happy Coming Out Day! Please pretend that every word in that sentence wasn't actually capitalized - my inner grammar nazi is flipping its shit.
It wasn't until a few minutes ago that I realized that I should probably type something up about today, even if it was short. After all, I have not been shy in admitting my orientation; now that I'm at university, I'm not even trying to hide it at all, for the most part. I sort of feel like I have a duty to talk about it, and I suppose I might as well. I have the time.
***
First off, I should point out that every day is Coming Out Day. I mean, let's face it. I came out in mid-August 2012, and sort of did it again about just a week past (apparently my mom thought I was more bi than I actually am. Go figure).
Second, Coming Out Day is not a requirement for those who are LGBT+. Anybody out there feeling like they need to/should've come out today, don't beat yourself up - come out when you feel ready to. No need to present pressure.
This begs the question . . . the fuck is the point of an official Coming Out Day?
Unity, I suppose; knowing that other people are coming out today too. Perhaps awareness, showing that the LGBT+ community is unafraid. Not only that, but if somebody comes out to you, it might create more closeness; if you come out to somebody and they reject you, it's an awakening. I guess those could happen any other day of the year, but eh. Who am I to complain? The fact that we recognize it is important enough.
I think the act of coming out is very personal, no matter how you do it. It can be very anxiety-inducing, depending on the situation. I should know - I am lucky enough to have accepting parents and brothers, but I was very scared when I first told my mom about the girlfriend I'd made just the night before. The fact that she was so accepting was a relief, but I know that others aren't so lucky. Some are ignored. Some are tossed out of their homes. Some are killed.
In some ways, coming out can be the bravest thing somebody can do. It's an act of honesty, and an act of trust. If it goes wrong, if it turns into a Big Deal (TM) . . . there can be major consequences.
So in a way, Coming Out Day can help boldster the bravery and strength of those coming out; it shows them that they are not alone, that others are doing the same thing, and that their action is noted and noticed. That can make this day so, so important, and it shouldn't be overlooked. It matters. It matters, and it doesn't just matter to those who come out; it matters to those who are come out to, as well.
If you have been come out to: accepting that your son, daughter, husband, brother, sister, father, mother, husband, wife, or friend is LGBT+ may be tough. It may go against all of your ideas, it may radically twist them up and shake them out like wet laundry. But don't think of it as bad. Instead, please thank them - thank them for their honesty, for their goddamn bravery. And if you can't find the will to do that within yourself . . . then at least respect them. Respect them, and do not throw them out.
It's hard to find friends who are brave enough to stand up and admit that they defy the norms forced upon them. And the LGBT+ community - it's one of the bravest I know.
Have a good Coming Out Day, everybody.
Showing posts with label activism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label activism. Show all posts
Saturday, October 11, 2014
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Women are people, too. So stop treating them like objects.
First, a quick update on my situation. I'm at university, in a foreign country, but I've done orientation and I think I'm okay. So it goes.
Now, as for actual real-life topics: please read these two articles: this one by Roxane Gay and this other one by Van Badham.
Done?
To be honest, this whole situation sort of sickens me. And embarrassingly, I fell into the trap at first. I heard about the leaks and actually said out loud, "Sweeeeet". And isn't that terrible? Thankfully, I took a step back and realized what I was doing, and that was this.
I was objectifying a human being. And god dammit, I - we - can't do that.
So first, let me re: Roxane Gay, because she mostly talked about the sex and gender side of things. First off, she is completely right - if you're a woman, you're targeted. If you're gay, you're targeted. If you're colored, you're targeted. If you're outwardly religious and not a religion of "the norm" depending where you are, you're targeted. It gets worse the more hits you've got, and me? Well, I've got three, although atheism is a lesser offense these days. The point of it, though, is how privacy is seen as a "gift" rather than a right as a result of being a woman, or being colored. It's worse if you're famous. I try very hard to remember that celebrities are people, so that I don't misjudge them (which is also why I'm pissed about Robin Williams, but more on that later, maybe).
As for the Van Badham article: she, again, is right. It's sexual harassment and abuse at its finest. It's a violation of somebody's privacy, security, and even sexuality. I mean, how safe would YOU feel about sending your lover nude pics as part of your typical sexy times if you'd been attacked in this way? All of those pictures are private, and they're for private consumption, not ours. And celebrities deserve their privacy as much as anybody else; a violation of that is just rude at best and harassing at worst (again, Robin Williams).
But the most frustrating thing about this to me is that this was a blatant showing of how people view women as objects. I mean, excuse me?! It's both frustrating and frightening to know that there are people out there that only view me as a walking, talking pair of boobs and butt! That's not what I am, dammit, and you want to know why? Because I am a cognitive and feeling human being, and I deserve to be treated in that manner. It's 2014, why is this so hard to grasp?
So: the 4chan user that decided to violate the privacy of dozens of celebrities because he thought it would be a good time? He's an asshole. I won't even censor that, because there is no good reason to expose somebody like that, even if they are famous. And the people that ooh and aah and don't think of the damage they cause? They're assholes too. And before you go thinking I've excluded myself on purpose, no, don't think that - I feel bad enough for my initial reaction.
Women are people, just like men. Women are not objects, and if you can't realize that, then you need to grab your to-do list and check yourself.
Now, as for actual real-life topics: please read these two articles: this one by Roxane Gay and this other one by Van Badham.
Done?
To be honest, this whole situation sort of sickens me. And embarrassingly, I fell into the trap at first. I heard about the leaks and actually said out loud, "Sweeeeet". And isn't that terrible? Thankfully, I took a step back and realized what I was doing, and that was this.
I was objectifying a human being. And god dammit, I - we - can't do that.
So first, let me re: Roxane Gay, because she mostly talked about the sex and gender side of things. First off, she is completely right - if you're a woman, you're targeted. If you're gay, you're targeted. If you're colored, you're targeted. If you're outwardly religious and not a religion of "the norm" depending where you are, you're targeted. It gets worse the more hits you've got, and me? Well, I've got three, although atheism is a lesser offense these days. The point of it, though, is how privacy is seen as a "gift" rather than a right as a result of being a woman, or being colored. It's worse if you're famous. I try very hard to remember that celebrities are people, so that I don't misjudge them (which is also why I'm pissed about Robin Williams, but more on that later, maybe).
As for the Van Badham article: she, again, is right. It's sexual harassment and abuse at its finest. It's a violation of somebody's privacy, security, and even sexuality. I mean, how safe would YOU feel about sending your lover nude pics as part of your typical sexy times if you'd been attacked in this way? All of those pictures are private, and they're for private consumption, not ours. And celebrities deserve their privacy as much as anybody else; a violation of that is just rude at best and harassing at worst (again, Robin Williams).
But the most frustrating thing about this to me is that this was a blatant showing of how people view women as objects. I mean, excuse me?! It's both frustrating and frightening to know that there are people out there that only view me as a walking, talking pair of boobs and butt! That's not what I am, dammit, and you want to know why? Because I am a cognitive and feeling human being, and I deserve to be treated in that manner. It's 2014, why is this so hard to grasp?
So: the 4chan user that decided to violate the privacy of dozens of celebrities because he thought it would be a good time? He's an asshole. I won't even censor that, because there is no good reason to expose somebody like that, even if they are famous. And the people that ooh and aah and don't think of the damage they cause? They're assholes too. And before you go thinking I've excluded myself on purpose, no, don't think that - I feel bad enough for my initial reaction.
Women are people, just like men. Women are not objects, and if you can't realize that, then you need to grab your to-do list and check yourself.
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