Re: "Isn't it odd" . . . via Pikacheeka

First off, I'm going to apologize for the back-to-back posts about LGBT+ stuff on this blog. Or, well, I'm going to mock-apologize for it, because it's my blog anyway, and these are things I feel I need to discuss for the sake of my mental health (because it's good to have something to do, and when I originally wrote this post I needed to. Long story).

I'm also going to preface this with: I haven't been part of a "fandom" for a long, long time. At least, I haven't actively been part of a fandom for a long time. I was extremely active in a fandom about two years ago and that . . . that didn't end well, and I haven't returned since. BUT! It still matters to me in some form, especially this summer, since I've been so high-strung. Also know that you don't need to have any knowledge of fandoms or the like - I'm focusing more of the sexuality part of this discussion, honestly.

Anyways, this is just the introduction to this post, I guess. Faux apology and preface aside, I think what I want to say is still important. So whatever.

***

Here's the post I'm responding to. It's written by pikacheeka on tumblr, who is pretty active with the Hashimada pairing in the Naruto fandom, but you certainly don't need to know that to understand the gist of this post. Be that as it may, it's just going to be easier to understand my post if you read hers. I can't explain it as well as she (he? they?) can.

Once again, I haven't been part of any fandom in an active manner as of late due to . . . personal . . . reasons, but I'm going to feel safe in assuming that my experiences from two years ago are still very similar to experiences as of right now. Keep in mind that I'm not talking about any specific fandom, just in general.

Now.

*clears throat*

As much as I hate to admit it - because it's a sour thing to agree to - pikacheeka is right. If a pairing is heterosexual, odds are it will garner more attention than a homosexual ship, even if it has less basis or even following than the homosexual one. People just seem less picky about their het ships, I suppose. And because they are less picky, more people like them, and therefore they become more popular. It's a dynamic I subscribe to myself - there are some heterosexual shippings that I'm fine with following, but when it comes to homosexual pairs, I'm a little more picky. Maybe that's a personal thing, since I'm deeply invested in writing romantic pairs, but I think there's more to it.

I think it has to do with shame.

As depressing as it is, there is still shame surrounding the LGBT+ population and around the LGBT+ issue(s) in and of itself. I mean, I'm a great example of that: I'm an advocate of equality for LGBT+ persons, and I talk about it enough on the Internet that you would think that I'm just as devoted in real life. Thing is, though, I'm not. I lived in a conservative area and always have to watch what I say, especially in public. There have been many times where my brothers will point out an attractive girl, and I'm tempted to say the same thing and can't because I can never know how other peopel around me would react. And that's what it boils down to: never knowing how others will react. That situation is a little different now, since I'm trying to live openly at University, but it is still a challenge because I fear how people will react to me.

On the internet, it's both safer and more dangerous. There's a certain amount of anonymity on the Internet, especially on sites like tumblr and deviantArt where you are taking on a screenname. But that anonymity can also be a curse, because that allows for a certain amount of freedom in bullying others as well. There was just somebody in this fandom I've been following who left because of hate mail telling the person to kill him/herself. Cyberbullying is a real issue, and it can become a big issue in a hurry that ends up suppressing voices that want/need to be heard.

All of that can be applied to hetero and homosexual ships.

Something I've learned is that there is rarely a spectrum in which people fall directly on the ends of. Here, the spectrum seems to be "supports homosexual pairs with a passion" and "really . . . doesn't". But in this case, there isn't much fall in-between - I don't know why, although I suspect it's because of a heteronormative culture. There are still homophobes and bigots on the internet, and there's still a chance of getting ganged up upon. I mean, there's strength in numbers, hence the large groups of "yaoi fangirls" (RUDE), but if you're not actively part of that, even just posting one picture/ship can be very . . . dangerous.

The easiest way for me to sort of explain is the strange fear/myth that if you actively support or hang out with homosexual persons, you'll be seen as the same. And there are a lot of people who are anxious about that, because they don't want to be targets for hate, so they shut up about it or don't hang out with those people or, worse, don't defend them at all. I think that can be seen as a similar case to this fandom issue, resulting in certain groups of shippers banding together. Again, strength in numbers.

So to sort of conclude . . . I think that it's a matter of shame. Nobody wants to point out that they're okay with it and if they do, they want a steady group of support behind them. Why we still have this shame in the 21st century, I have no clue, because it's stupid, but I do understand that it exists. It's just a real-world problem manifest in a fandom in a very obvious way.

Anyways . . . I don't know if I explained that very well. Or if I explained it at all, because I'm sort of anxious about writing this post to begin with. But those are just my thoughts on the matter, so eh? I don't know. Take them as you will.

A Thought and an Announcement

A double post? From me? Aw, of course not! The post earlier today was . . . uh . . . time traveling! Heaven knows I've done that enough, at least in Animal Crossing.

Anyways, I don't have much to say right now, but there were two things I wanted to touch on, mostly because it's late and I have nothing else to do.

First off: look at this poll.

For those of you who are rebellious and didn't click the link, good for you. Always question the man! The question was, "Do you believe that art can fundamentally change your sense of who you are?" Besides just a poll answer or a comment, I figured I'd share my own thoughts.

Short answer: Yes, I think art can change you.

Long answer: Yes, I think art can change you both introspectively and extraspectively (is that a word . . .?). AKA, it changes you on the inside and on the outside. I think it changes you even more when you're the one making the art.

Lemme give you some examples.

The series Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are based off of manga, or graphic novels, as we'd call them in the US. It's dialogue with pictures; it's not hard to find scanlations of the chapters so you can read or else keep up with what's going on. I mean, buy the books if you're going to be reading it a lot, but if you want to keep up because Japan . . . well, whatever, I don't judge.

In my case, Naruto has influenced me to a huge degree. It's influenced my writing, which I'll talk about later, but basically, it's what's helped me get into and stay in writing. Naruto is also the reason I met my best friend, which I'm never going to forget, because I really like my friend. I'm also a fan of drawing the characters sometimes (often in drag . . . sorry, Madara!), so it's helped my drawing skills. So it's influenced both my art and my external, working self.

The other example that I can give is about introspective changes inside, or at least demonstrating those changes; when I was younger and had a more difficult relationship with my dad, I noticed after time that all of my character's fathers were either A) not there or B) fairly . . . bad. Them being bad was, of course, on a different level than my dad; he just wasn't around all the time because of work. But some feelings about my dad not being around leaked into my work, affecting my characters.

Art is also a form of support, too. There's a reason we have art therapy, after all, and I know people who make art because it's either that, or having to deal with . . . compromised health (and that's as far into that as I'll get). In my case, I'm writing a novel right now because I know I need to in order to cope with the fact that - surprise! - I'm moving away in a month and a half. Not only that, but guess what kind of novel I'm writing? A coming-of-age novel! See what I mean?

Lastly, I think that art made by onesself can also help explain our thoughts and expound upon them. A few years ago, I was writing a piece that included a part about the main character's religion, or lack thereof. At the time, I'd been having some issues with my own religion, specifically that my mother thought I couldn't "choose" my own religion at my age. When I wrote the central scene for the religious subplot, so much of what was written just popped into my head and onto the page, and I realized only later that what I had written was exactly what I had been wanting to tell my mother: religion is a personal thing and for the person themselves to choose, not their parents. So by making art, I further knew myself.

Anyways, to sum it up again: Yeah, art changes us. But it also helps define us, which I think is fairly important for those of us who need to understand who we are and what the heck we're doing.

***

Anyways, this is the announcement: I have another blog now.

And it's for my CampNaNo novel.

I've been writing second-generation fanfiction for the Naruto series, and I decided early on that I wanted to edit the chapters and publish them along with my work. After thinking about it, I realized that my work was a little more intensive than I thought, and I knew I didn't want to post it all on this blog. As a result, making another blog was the option.

To quickly explain to those who are curious: the story I am writing is about a girl named Katya whose parents, one of which is Itachi Uchiha, are ex-criminals. In order to try and escape the persecution she faces at home, she decides to travel and make a name for herself. Of course, this doesn't go off without a few hitches, though.

You can find my blog for this Camp NaNo novel here; there will be no chapter updates until August, but I will be posting some of my research as I go along, so stay tuned, okay? It's going to be a wild ride!